Archive for the ‘Game’ Category


Pocket God Review

July 10, 2009

I don’t usually write reviews for anything, but Pocket God was just so different, I felt it deserved a good look in to.

Pocket God is an app for the iPhone and iPod Touch. It is probably the most frequently updated application with amazing new features every time. It has a few areas to play in, where you are God, and you decide the fate of the pigmies living in your world. It can be extremely fun as there is so much to do and with their constant updates, it will never bore you.


It’s location is generally unknown, except for it is a small island, probably quite south, as the weather is a good indication. It currently consists of 3 places to go:

The main island with the statue

The second island with T-Rex

Under the islands, in the sea.

Main Island

The first island is quite interesting, and probably the most iconic, as in the begining of Pocket God, when we could only throw little pigmies about, the first island was the only island, and the only place you could go. It is probably as important to the game as the pigmies themselves. On the island, there are a few things that stand out. Firstly, there is a large, (and oddly wide), palm tree. The only real use for the tree right now, is that it grows coconuts, But as if by magic, it can only grow one at a time, and doesn’t grow another one until the last one has been consumed or disposed of into the sea! Oooooo, spooky, ey?
Another feature is the statue. It is now an octopus statue as opposed to the Moai statue due to legal reasons to do with racism. It’s ridiculous if you ask me, (I know, you didn’t ask me, but that’s what I would have said if you did…). But, I guess it’s all for the best, because our new statue has a cool power. Tap it thrice, and pygmies be gone! Basically, it fries them. The other thing on the main island that other places lack, is the volcano. Flick 3 pygmies into it and it will errupt and shower the island in hot, boiling magma. Don’t ya just hate it when the shower is too hot…. It’s impossible to relax.

Bonsai Island

(I admit, I made the name of the island up, I just thought it sounded cool…) This island is very similar to the previous island, but in some ways, it’s very very different.  The main island has a palm tree, this island has a bonsai tree. The main island has a statue, this island has a toilet. The main island has a coconut, this island has… a….. T-rex? That was the closest comparison I could get? But yes, there is a T-Rex living on the island. As you can see, unlike the main island, this one continues of the right of the screen, and that is where Mr Dino pops out from when you touch his baby egg thrice. (3 seems to be the magic number in this game)

Of cousre, Allan and Dave (Creators of Pocket God) are not completely evil. They give you a chance against the dinosaur, and programmed a spear to fall from the sky (as if like magic) when the T-Rex attacks. You pass the spear to a pigmy and he will go all zulu and throw it at Mr Dino. As you can see from the picture, he has a health bar. When that reaches zero, he falls into the water. Quite an enjoyable minigame to play.
The other features of the island are the toilet which is fully functional, the beautiful bonsai tree, and a working fire. (I should be an estate agent with lines like these!)
The fire requires the pigmies to put logs on a stone circle, and then the God (You) has to strike it with lightning.  The fire can be used to cook fish, dodo birds, and even pigmies. Fortunately, the pigmies have not had a canabalism update where they eat each other…… yet……
Even though the fire can be used for evil, and murdering innocent pigmies, it is also nice to just sit by, soaking up the sunset, relaxing in the warmth, and conversing about an eventful day………. before Dino turns up, that is.

The islands are overall a nice places for the pigmies to live, minus their unfriendly inhabitents, such as the T-Rex, the Dodo bird, the Shark, the Red ants, the Vampire bat and the Crazy killing statue. But hey, everywhere has one or two flaws, don’t knock it without giving it a try!

Deep Blue Sea

The sea is not as dangerous as the islands, but still has it’s hazards. The statue at the bottom-left is loaded with a chained spear. Just ONE tap (not even three!!) and it will shoot it’s spear, penetrating anything in it’s path. If it hits a pigmy, it will drag it back into the statues mouth, and never be seen again! (until you hit the big plus sign at top-left…)
I know it’s only earlly, but I was still a tad dissapointed with the water area (for now!). I would like to see the shark and fish which are visible on the water surface, and maybe even an octopus monster which the statue was made after.
Overall, it’s an okay area, but could do with some improvement.


It has been questioned if Pocket God can actually be categorised as a ‘Game’ as it’s more of a simulation, or faux environment, But over the course of 20+ updates, it is becomming more and more like a game. More places to go, more to do, more to see. ‘Achievements’ give it it’s main game qualities, such as coconut bouncing, shark snatching, fish catching, pigmy spearing and more activities, but it’s still not 100% a game.
Either way, I don’t mind if it’s a game or a simulation, it’s not skin of my nose. All I care about it the quality of the app, and in my opinion, it’s bloody brilliant. I love everything that is “Pocket God” and always will.
It’s only 59p ($1.00) which is about the same price as a chocolate bar! Granted, it wont taste as nice, but it’s a lot more fun and lasts a lot longer! (unless you are a belemic or something…)
So what have you got to lose? Get it today! I promise you wont regret it.


Graphics:    10/10
Gameplay:   7/10
Fun:              10/10
Overall:      9/10